Understanding the Ukrainian situation through the description of the Kosovo war is the aim of this study. The analysis will revolve around three pairs of con-cepts: identity and territory, emotions and revenge, memory and forgiveness. It will be discussed whether, in a war, it is possible to speak of personal and social forgiveness in Ricoeur’s terms. In this sense, the analysis will focus on the relation-ship between forgetting and memory, in particular on what birth (of new genera-tions) "could not erase", making an accumulation of memory of the facts that re-generate in an increasingly destructive collective revenge. If, in a war, breaking the rule of reciprocity is the way to forgiveness, this means taking away the power of guilt to oblige the future. Liberation from negative feelings, through loslassen or "letting go", opens up a new perspective that changes every kind of relationship, both between individuals and between Countries.