Supported by clinical evidence, I hypothesize that in cases of trauma, abuse, mistreatment early in life, the Self remains in "suspended animation" (Vallino, 2004), waiting to be admitted to a shared meaning that can trigger mental life (as Bion told of public-action, so I talk - 2003 - of "action-mentalize"). Only then symptoms will be seen as meaningful communication as much as suffering will become shareable and meaningful (Pozzi, 2003) and will be embodied so that to find a way to become psychic pain. When it happens early during development, incarceration (Shore, 1994; Steiner, 1996) into pathological mental states can be avoided. In this regard I reflect on a seldom explored issue maybe disturbing and uncomfortable, especially when referred to ourselves, to infantile mental life and to parental and therapeutic functions: hate is an essential ingredient of mind development (Freud, 1915; Jeammet, 1989; Nielsen, 2011), almost impossible to acknowledge as a constituent of the psyche, although thinking, as well as the Object, are born from hate (Freud, 1915).
Keywords: Mentalize-action, psychic pain, hate.