The social figure of the absent father seems to be artificial. Very often, not only in family therapy, fathers are neglected by therapists who, following a common prejudice, think that fathers are not able to experience feelings and to be useful for the therapeutic process. But on the contrary fathers, if called in, they come and sometime they express their suffering as child. This is the "shadow of fathers" and if they come in therapy they can turn the therapy process positively. The Author recalls the fathers’ last decades changing.
Keywords: Affiliation, belonging, society, fathers, suffering, intergenerational transmission.