The author presents an opinion on same sex parenting, in particular from the position of a single male. He suggests a re-consideration of the way in which emotional skills and availability to parenting are built, of the emergence of willingness to parenting as a process, of the opportunity to challenge one’s conscious and unconscious homophobic prejudice as well as those of others and of patients, the debated problems and questions concerning the access to medically assisted procreation and surrogacy, keeping account of the laws applied in different countries, of the opportunity of creating a "procreative setting", of the evidence collected by research on interactions between gay parents and children, of possible suggestions that a psychoanalyst can provide for the development of children in same sex families. With reference to Lichtenberg’s ideas, the author presents twelve guidelines for parenting and, when possible, indicates some same sex parenting specificities. He also discusses the choice of a single male to request surrogacy and considers the variables inherent in a "procreative setting". He also presents a clinical vignette of a single gay male patient who wants to become a parent.
Keywords: Same sex parenting, homophobia, procreative setting. surrogacy, subjectivity