Wandering unions: looking for the seed of contradiction

This article analyzes the evolution of couple in the XXth century, observing the change of love, that has turned into the place of the radicalization of the individualism, where men and women look for themselves in others. The individualism is a basic element of "liquid modernity", which is the product of a series of transformations (political, economic, social, cultural) of the Societies since the beginning part of this century. Relationships have become liquid, frail and empty as well, in order to be broken every time a change is necessary. Some effects of this evolution are the reduction in marriages and the coming out of new ways of livings together (LAT, Childfree, childless, homosexual couples, etc.) that let the individual choose freely how to fulfil himself. In this article our hypothesis is that the new kinds of couples are a clear sign both of a historical change and a cultural crisis, but they could be an adaptive and functional reaction to fight a sense of powerlessness and uncertainty. According to this point of view the psychotherapists should estimate the patient’s (couple or individual) request for help as a crisis into a Society in crisis. The therapeutic targets are both disillusioning the patient that there is a safe and perennial solution and helping the partners of a couple to think of the couple as an imperfect union because everyone will be always different than what the partner expects. It’s necessary to accept the own change and that of the partner. At last the psychotherapist should help patients to know the reasons of crisis and the way of facing them every time.

Keywords: Couple, liquid modernity, leaving together

Sergio Lupoi, Paola Cipolla, Simona Dell'Atti, Adele M. R. Francavilla, Roberta Menichelli, Unioni vaganti: alla ricerca della quadratura del cerchio in "RIVISTA DI PSICOTERAPIA RELAZIONALE " 34/2011, pp 91-109, DOI: 10.3280/PR2011-34007